Having a HARD TIme~

So in the last 3 months I have had 2 young women that just had babies die. My sister-in-law's sister and a good friend from church! This last one hit me like a TON of bricks! My heart is just broken! I just CAN NOT image how my sister-in-law feels loosing her only sister! There are some days where I am just paralyzed and I have a very hard time! I think about "if that happened to me" "If I die today what would I need to take care of before that day come?" What do my kids need to know or have? What bills have to be paid? (I do all the bills) What does my husband need to know how and what to do? Does everyone know I LOVE THEM! How would my kids feel? Would my husband be able to handle everything with out me? WHAT IF? WHAT IF? WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING WITH MY LIFE? AM I WHERE GOD WHATS ME TO BE? I just have so many Questions and NO ANSWERS!!!!! I really have to get in touch with GOD MORE!!! He has all the ANSWERS!!!